Food for thought

From the Poker Report:

And after Eli leaves Eric and I split a terrific pot with Poindexter bluffing on a pair of fours straight through to the bitter end.

"How did you know?" he asks, coming over the top on my fifty-cent blue chip before turning his doubleton four on its face.

"I didn't," I say, though in a way I did. "All you can do is take snapshots. There is no bigger picture." And when he scratches his head I continue, "People act like they have a view of the world, a basic understanding of things. But it doesn't exist. History is nothing more than a set of pixels brushed together to create a picture of a man and his wife having a picnic. Nobody knows anything. Anyway, you were going up, starting low and building toward a seven, that how I figured I had you beat."

So...

Give us the full rundown of how Poker Night went without its founders...

alas alack, fuckers.

i gonna assume that, since fishel never showed up at karaoke, he's sleepin' with the spare tires in a ditch on the side of i-83. can anyone confirm or deny this?

A PROPOSAL wherein

a MOTIONE is placed before the COUNCILE of GAMBLELING AFFAIRES, stating that the tyme of COMMENCEMENT should be adjusted to 7 o'clocke on Tuesdeay eve to reflecte the certain difficulties of STARTING PROMPTLY.

NLHE tournament this Saturday in South Baltimore 7/24 @ 8pm - $40 buyin - $30 rebuys unlimited first 3 periods, $30 Add-on - Double Chips.  Pays based on # of entries. The Free roll pot is now at $20.00.  All who have played in a NLHE tournament will be eligible.  Max 24 players. Ring games after tournament if interest is there.RSVP if interested. I need at least 8 by Friday to make this go.

Mike

For future reference....

I'm sure most of you have already seen something of the kind, but this was pretty helpful...it's a complete ranked list, percentages and all, of all 169 possible starting hold'em hands. Worth a look.

Also, Joel, what's the full skinny on this tourney tomorrow? I'm in, but i need to know me some details.

to the victor...

you can't second guess a winner. well, you can, but they won. the manager that intentionally walks barry bonds with the bases loaded, only to give up a home run to the next batter is an enormous ass. but if his pitcher strikes 'em out on three pitches, he is toasted as a strategic genius. the line between brilliance and infamy is thin, winding and nearly invisible.

this is so true in poker that it approaches overwhelming. there are no teammates, no constants, no flawless strategies. the game requires such a delicately personal approach that extensive study of veteran strategies will most likely leave you confused and inefficient. for three hours on any given night, you perch yourself one runner-runner away from complete, devouring insanity. motherfucker, it's great.

see, the ten dollar bet has more grace than comrade klemis gives it credit for. there is a hyperbolic poetry to that stack of chips, never tossed casually on the felt but always counted, recounted and placed softly, even remorsefully in front of the brazen youth willing to commit so many of his resources to a single endeavor. the act is so excessive that its beauty can only be matched by two or even three callers.

i rarely make it and seldom call it, but i love the ten dollar bet, that phalanx of red chips marching toward their destiny in the center of the table. this is not pillow talk at 90 decibles; the potential rewards are far greater (indeed, they actually exist). this is the suprise press of the finger, thrust of the tounge or nip of the teeth that will either disgust or melt your lover. calculation and passion rarely meet, but poker and sex always provide a secure location for their illegitimate trysts.

that stranger takes as big a risk making the bet as you do calling it. this isn't a cautious, one-dollar probe around your rectum; no, this is a spit-lubed finger straight to the prostate. do you gasp and kiss harder, or do you wriggle free? it's not about love, it's about satisfaction. let's cut the bullshit.

On Excess.

Last night, by any account, was a slaughter. The innocent and meek were separated from their money with frightening speed and accuracy. A lot of it, I think, was just bad calls, the kind of thing you have to get out of your system before you can call yourself a good player.

The question that remains in my mind is: what do you do when you have a solid hand, but not the nuts... and a stranger bets $10 (half your stake) against you?

In some ways, it would be easier if you're playing a drawing hand. Memorize the pot odds and do some quick math. Of course, you have to consider whether you would be drawing to a losing hand -- but still, it boils down to a question that requires intelligence, not intuition, to answer.

(And anyway, pot odds dictate folding to a big bet most of the time.)

I read a while ago that a bet is at its heart one of two statements: I think I'm going to win, or you think you're going to lose. But that's I read a while ago that a bet is at its heart one of two statements: I think I'm going to win, or you think you're going to lose. But that's bullshit. People make all kinds of bets -- bluffs, semi-bluffs, bets masquerading as bluffs and semi-bluffs, bets to gather information, bets to increase pot odds, bets to decrease pot odds, bets designed to make people playing lesser hands feel confident.

It's really a language unto itself, and nobody wants you to understand what they are saying. There's a secondary language, of physical tells and subtextual clues, but you can't rely on it. You have to listen to the way people lie to divine the truth.

The problem with the $10 bet is that it's the equivalent of bellowing "I LOVE YOU!" in the middle of pillow talk. There's no way to know what it really means. Maybe it's just a massive bluff, maybe he's trying to kill anyone on a flush draw, maybe he thinks his kicker will squeak by yours, maybe he wants to establish a presence at the table, maybe he just wants your money, maybe...

So is it a bad call or not? You just don't know, and there are so few things that can help you figure things out.

Related reading: Mind Games

2-2-Q-J vs. 4-4-x-x (2-9-5-5-5)

This was Omaha Hi-Lo. I felt pretty good at the turn -- though I was a little worrried of 9-9, everyone had limped in when I bet after the flop. Maybe a few playing a wheel draw or something. The guy who won checked to me on the river, which might have been a courtesy or just timidity.