i, too, can squirt tears from my vagina.

from my letter to blog uberlords:

I am a member of two blogs: "The Jerk Store" and "The Poker Tome." This is great. But I am also the FOUNDER of The Poker Tome. As a friendly gesture to get more bloggers involved, I invited my 'friends' to be administrators as well. Unfortunately, I misjudged the character of one of these 'friends,' and he decided to revoke everyone's admin privledges save his own. He then changed the name of the blog to it's current crass and desultory title. I assumed I would have super-user rights as the creator of the blog, but I assumed wrongly. Is there anything that can be done to restore my peaceful, innocent blog to its rightful owner? It was supposed to be about poker and poker strategies, but it has turned into a fallow wasteland of craven insults and dunderheaded profanity.

huh. well-played. it appears our forces will have to abandon the craggy, barren wasteland that was the poker tome for the lush, jerky fields of AFCINS.

This blog is mine!

It's mine now. Not your blog. My blog.

Hooray for online poker!

Just wanted to post, as a good thing happening to me in poker, that i cleared $100 in winnings in online poker today. Even more special was the hand that put me over:

Qh-Kh vs...It doesn't really matter
(Q-Q-Q-7-10)

So yeah. I flopped a 4 of a kind. What made it even crazier was i guess everyone was playing pocket pairs, since people were betting through the roof. 2 other people stayed until the end, where i beat 2 full houses, one off the 7, and the other on pocket jacks.

I won 26 bucks on the hand.

Not really a bad beat per se, but...

There's quite possibly nothing worse than losing on the river to a player online named "Robodildo".

Ac-2c v. 4d-4s v. 5c-5d (6c-10h-7c-7d-6h)

so i was clearly drawing for the flush, right? i think it is the first time i've won on the river...without the river helping my hand.

A-A v. 8-J (10-4-6-Q-9) [hold 'em 2/4]

i raised the limit at every possible chance. everyone else, save 'titanic clown,' folded out on the turn. he hit his queen-high straight on the river. the pot was about 48 dollars at that point.

it was my farewell hand, too!

welcome to the poker tome.

dedicated to parting the veil since 09 June 2004.

the format is simple. you post an obscene display of fortune, for better or for worse. we the members of this proud body then decide whether your fate even qualifies (simple majority). if it does, we subjectively assign a value to your (mis)fortune, a number between negative 10 and positive 10. thus you can track your pokarma numerically. of course, a running total of zero represents balance and discipline. a high number represents a dangerous reliance on luck. a low number means you are an awful person.

keep in mind that to qualify, you have to have either 1.) a great hand that you play perfectly, and still lose to a 2.) crappy hand player maniacally or 3.) a even more fantastic hand played even more perfectly. or something along these lines. i believe we know them when we see them.

format:

title: your hand v. competing hand (relevant board cards)

for example. Q-7 v. Q-Q (7-7-Q-X-X)

or. Ad-A v. 2d-9d (Ks-Ac-4d-6d-10d)

then the circumstances: 'i bet four dollars with my aces preflop. feez called me. i flopped trips, bet five dollars, and feez called me again. i bet two dollars on both the turn and the river, and feez called me both times.'

then the votes. 'i vote yea and rate it -3.'
no matter how irrational... 'i vote nay. three diamonds after the flop is a great place to be!'
'i vote yea and rate it -2'

my pokarma is -2.5, where feez's blundering pokarma is +2.5.